Highlights from 2023
These are a few fun toots that crossed my feed in 2023. Did I miss one? Let me know on Mastodon .
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John Mastodon can build a fire and knit at the same time, while gracefully navigating an emotionally charged conversation and never disturbing the cat on his lap.
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John Mastodon was the real reason the Grinch's heart grew three sizes that day.
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John Mastodon’s great-grandfather, also John Mastodon, was Irish. Born Seán Mastodaoine sometime in the later-1800s, he grew up in a family of peasants on the D’Arcy estate near the village of Tweets, Co. Kerry. Seán was evicted with his family and neighbours after the estate was bought by Lord Elon, the Marquess of Tesla-on-Spacex. Arriving at Ellis Island, Seán had his name anglicised to John Mastodon. #JohnMastodon #Mastodaoine #IAmMastodon #JohnOfMastodon
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John Mastodon spent decades travelling by foot across the fediverse, a bag of Mastodon seeds on his back. To this day there are still small Mastodon orchards thriving throughout the countryside that were started from his seeds
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The real reason Zuckerberg and Musk never had their cage match was that John Mastodon said he would fight the winner.
#JohnMastodonDay
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John Mastodon’s left foot is named “Block,” and his right is named “Defederate.”
#JohnMastodonDay
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#JohnMastodon could have shot a man just for snoring, but instead set him up with a pulmonologist.
That man now uses a CPAP, doesn't snore, and is sleeping better than he has in years.
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John Mastodon
John Mastodon
Does whatever a Mastodon Con
Stomps about
Forms a herd
Blocks Theads,
And kills the bird,
Watch out:
John mastodon's about.